Steven's Story

Steven's Story

I first discovered The Laurence Trust was a few years ago; I was sitting in my parents' house, picked up the newspaper and was shocled to see a picture of a normal young lad who had an eating disorder like me. It was the first time I could really relate to someone's story, but unfortunately the strain of the illness took Laurence's life. I myself had also refused to go to support groups because I felt they would be full of girls and I would be embarrassed, so I hid it from absolutely everyone. I kept it as my deep deep secret.

For me Bulimia started when I was about 15. I was a normal healthy young lad and had friends at school. I was a bit of a joker to be honest and would stuff myself with sweets on the way home from school. I  remember one particular day I came back from the shops, I ate a bag of sweets and felt really sick. I had always hated vomiting, but I found I was able to throw the sweets up. I did this again this happened a few times over the next few months; I wasn't afraid of throwing up anymore. To be honest at the beginning I thought it was great- I was able to eat all I wanted and not get fat! Everyone else was putting on weight and going on diets but I could eat whatever the hell I wanted. Fantastic!!!

At the age of 17/18, bulimia began to turn against me. I began throwing up all my meals, I didn't want to leave the house, was having panic attacks, the shakes and I had very few friends. Anytime I felt stressed I would cope by stuffing myself with food; I would have for example a 2 litre bottle of coke, a McDonalds, a Chinese and sweets, then I would just throw it all up. For me bulimia was almost like a drug addiction and sometimes after a binge I would even sit and drink cans of beer to relieve my stress and anxiety.

My family knew that something was wrong though; my brother could smell vomit on my breath and see it in the toilet, and there was always food missing from the house. My dad also asked if I was being sick but I just denied it.

When I was 19 I went travelling to Australia; I was still a healthy weight when I left but the bulimia continued when I was there and when I returned about 6 months later my parents were shocked at how skinny I looked- I had lost about 2 stone. Over the next few years I lost even more weight, I always had heartburn, I often felt dizzy and faint and I had become a nightmare for my family to live due to having severe mood swings. At my lowest point around 2010 I dropped to about 9.5 stone. I'm convinced that if I had continued that way....well its not worth thinking about what might have happened!

I was in denial with myself and even when people commented on how skinny I looked, it just went in one ear and out the other. Eventually however I told my family that I had bulimia and with their help and support (and a few relapses- the last one being 2 years ago) I have managed to live a normal life.

This summer- after 3 years of training- I qualify for a career in the NHS and Ii currently hold a part time job as a support worker. I'm feel very lucky that things have turned out ok for me in the end.

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Laurence Trust TeamThe Laurence Trust is made up of a team of passionate people from a range of age groups and backgrounds, who share a dedication to supporting men with eating disorders and their loved ones.
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